You are a magician in training. When we let go and take 100 percent responsibility for everything that happens in our life, our life improves and we begin to understand the nature of power and how to walk with it.
The basic technique of Ho’oponopono involves saying, “Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you.”
How do you feel about those statements?
Personally, I feel comfortable with the ‘Thank you’ and the ‘I love you’… but ‘I’m sorry…?’ That phrase makes me feel like I am appealing to a Christian style confession process. But I think the phrase is really trying to locate the actual sorrow involved with the issue. So if I work my way towards that phrase with the idea of, “I locate my sorrow about this issue…” that could be useful.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ has been abused by organized religions which, consciously or not, created an unhealthy psychological trap around how we process our behavior. If you are taught that everything you do is wrong and that you need to confess and ask for forgiveness… you will develop unconscious anger because your greater self will never accept that concept. Your greater self know (is) the truth.
You are good and you do not need to be forgiven for anything. If you have behaved in a way that you regret, you are the only one who can figure out how to resolve those feelings. We are designed to always do our best. It can not be otherwise. We can not venture into an action deliberately doing less than our best. Our best is always getting better.
Expressing your sorrow IS necessary and that sorrow has nothing to do with ‘being sorry.’ How might we rewire the effects of the phrase, “I am sorry, please forgive me.”? What do you think the teaching is saying when it asks you to say ‘I am sorry’?
I think it is saying: We are responsible for the state of the world. The world as we see it is due to our own perspective, which is expanding always. Our collective thought processes-as a nation, a race, a species, created the homeless guy outside of the bank and all the experiences that hurt. We are also responsible for the light of morning, the beauty of water over rocks, a good joke. This is OUR world. We are in a collective hallucination. We agree to celebrate Christmas but it is a construct for our own learning. You are making reality with me as we live and grow.
We exist in physical worlds as well as non-physical worlds. We are a continuum of energy which came to this particular life to have an adventure and to learn more about the nature of truth. The world we are in presents us with lessons at every turn. And, self created, we get to decide if the lessons will make us feel good to be alive or bad to be alive.
I AM sorry for the pain of the world. It is MY world. Mine, and yours. But I do not need to let that sorrow turn me into a victim. I can take responsibility for it by acknowledging my part in it. Debating whether or not I am responsible for the condition of the world will not lead to growth. If it is in your life, you are responsible for healing it, changing it, from inside you. How do you find peace in your one small heart? When you do, that one small heart heals uncountable dimensions of time and space, enabling you to explore timeless realms.
The practice of confession has permeated our psychology as a collective. Even if you were not raised catholic, your psychology has tendencies towards the belief systems of punishment and confession. Confession was a way to create dependencies on external authority and control work production and wealth. You are the only one who can forgive you of any actions you regret. Needing someone else to forgive you or to receive your forgiveness keeps you dependent on external authority. Saying “I’m sorry” is speaking to yourself, asking yourself to release you from the negative charge.
Forgiveness is not religious. And it is time to reclaim the ability back from institutionalized religion. Forgiveness is a practical tool for letting something go so that you can get on with the things that interest you in life. When you hold onto the anger you have towards a person or event you keep yourself locked in the tar pit of that pain. You can not change what happened. It happened. It is over. What you can change is how long you allow your mind to keep finding it important.
But lets set up reasonable tasks for this elusive process, eh? It is unreasonable to expect yourself to forgive an act of violence out right just because your brain knows you ‘ought to’ forgive. It is true, you will feel better once you let it go. So the advice is always sound. But knowing that fact doesn’t always enable the letting go process. And actually, knowing that you ‘should’ forgive can even add another layer of anguish you certainly don’t need! Let yourself have the time and space you need to be as you are. If you can’t forgive a situation, you can start with “I want to forgive this. I want to let this go. I call on help to find a way to free myself from this compulsive river of thoughts holding me in the past.”
But hey, what if you aren’t even there yet? What if, when you ask yourself, you hear, “I hate this (them) and I want them to suffer for what they did to me.” What then? It is up to you to determine when feeling that way feels good – because sometimes it does! Sometimes you need to reclaim your power to stand up for youself and claim your right to be angry. And once you have burned away your fear of speaking out, can you evaluate if you want to keep living in defensiveness? Once you are clear that they were wrong and you have left the situation, see that the whole thing was a teaching to you. Thank the experience. Forgive yourself for needing to learn in such a violent manner, and move into the life you want and deserve.
This is taking 100% responsibility for what happens in your life.
Here are a few interesting conversations with Hew Len, a Zero Chief working with Ho’oponopono. Using only the case files of each person, Hew Len heal an entire psychiatric ward of patients suffering from debilitating mental issues. He considered their condition to be part of his life. Believing that everything in his live is because of his own actions, Hew took 100% responsibility for the patients as though they were himself. Healing himself, he healed the hospital. using the techniques of Ho’oponopono.
Hew Len explains that we are here on Earth in this particular dimension to learn how to heal any and all blocks preventing joy, including collective cooperation. Whatever comes into your life- if you see it, hear it, sense it… it is your responsibility to accept, forgive, and love the event as a teacher and an opportunity to grow.